Thinking of a book
"I'm lying here in the grass, looking up at a blue summer sky. A few clouds are passing by and I feel like I'm disappearing, disappearing into nothingness, out of myself, out of everyday boredom and all the small and big worries. Life is not fair. And certainly not a fairy tale, which many seem to think everyone else has. The light deceives, as they say. Everyone carries a backpack where all the events of life, both good and bad, must be crowded and keep up until the last breath. I have my backpack. But in this now it's flat like a pancake under my back in the grass on the big meadow. It does not exist, it is invisible. I do not exist, I am invisible. Maybe not for real, but for a moment all tensions drop , the thought throws away all problems and I just AM.
A lark is heard teasing in the air next door and the bumblebees are buzzing around my head. Up there in the clear blue sky I see a small white cloud. Surely it looks like a woolly little cute rabbit just waiting to be petted? Or maybe a squirrel? The cloud is constantly changing shape, slowly but surely. Now the squirrel rabbit has become a dog with a long tail that soon develops into a real fairytale dragon that becomes one with the other small soft clouds. Somewhere up there I float around, outside of time and space. I see everything, hear everything, feel everything. The silence, the buzzing, the birds' song and the lukewarm breeze against my forehead. The sun warms so nicely. The energy is palpable. This is freedom. My freedom. An oasis in a paradise that only belongs to me in this now. "
This is the beginning of my recently started book. I feel satisfied and happy. Good Start! But then? What happens next? It has always been difficult to continue. Will it be a book? I hope so. Or does this stop? Nobody knows.
/ Singer, model, author (and a lot of others) Cecilia "Cissi" Andersson